A Journey Begins

So you know how sometimes you want something so badly but the timing just isn’t right and so it fails miserably? That was me 2 years ago. I had a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month old son. It was summer time so I had a couple of months before I was supposed to drop my kids back off at daycare and return to the classroom. Between the postpartum blues, the impending doom I felt about having to give up so much special time with my little, and my own selfishness, I was dreading going back. I managed to harass convince my husband that me resigning and staying home was the best decision for our family. I was elated! We were scared of the financial repercussions of transitioning to a single income family, but it was going to work out! God would provide and we would make it work! Well, God did provide, just not the way we thought.

A few weeks after I submitted my resignation and cleaned out my classroom, God sent a special lady to me. We had known each other for years but hadn’t talked in a while. She was between daycare jobs trying to find a good fit, preferably as a nanny. “Okay, God, I hear you!” We set it up for her to come to our home and care for our kiddos while I worked which was less stressful than having them in daycare and allowed me to continue contributing to the household with a full time income. Now my husband was elated!

See, when we try to force our plans on God instead of following His lead, we end up in all kinds of pickly situations. My hubby and I were not in agreement, I was contending with a lot of mixed emotions about going back to work: I was thankful I had a good job to go back to, but also felt guilt for not being with the kids, disappointment that it didn’t work out, and mostly a lot of discontentment. I was fighting the Lord’s timing and it was making me miserable. I eventually got hold of myself, realized I was creating my own misery, and threw it down at the foot of the cross. God helped me be satisfied and grateful for so many blessings through two more years of teaching.  Just recently God has blessed us with the financial freedom to give staying home another try.  Of course there will still be challenges and compromises, but we know that with God at our sides we can do it!

My hope with this blog is to document and share the trials and successes we will encounter throughout this season.  I have many aspirations for this special time with my family including homeschooling my littles, being on the front-line of caring for my family, and pursuing some of my own passions such as crafting, writing, and deeper study of God’s word.  If you’ve made it this far through my post, hopefully you’ll stick around to go through this with us, and maybe glean a thing or two to encourage your or help your own family.

Much love,

Jessica 🙂

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